Daddy Ozpin
by The Old Bastard
Summary: [AU] For years, Ozpin has been living alone; tired, sad, beaten. When he receives a letter from a recently deceased friend, however, will he be able to turn it all around just by adopting four rambunctious girls? Is he even ready for that kind of responsibility? Not a chance, but it still should be one hell of a ride!
1. Prolouge

**Anger:** You said we weren't going to do this again.

 _I know._

 **Disgust:** Did you honestly expect him to keep that promise?

 **Anger:** No, but I at least expected it to be longer than a month before he broke it!

 _You have way too much faith in me._

 **Joy:** Don't you worry, Anger! We'll still make the best of this, no matter what!

 **Anger:** But we're starting yet another story! It's as if this idiot didn't learn his lesson from the last time!

 _No offense, but I'm pretty certain I didn't. I am, after all, totally disregarding my promise to not start any more stories until The Sting of Reality is done. I've started up two since the last update._

 **Anger:** Yes, that's exactly the point! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO YOURSELF.

 _No kidding, Sherlock. Didn't take a genius to figure that one out._

 **Anger:** One of these days, Bastard, I"m gonna...

 **Fear:** Uh, guys? We should probably start the story now...

 _Good call, Fear._

 **Anger:** This isn't over, you hear me?

 _Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, hothead. Can we just get on with this? You can even have the honors of kicking us off._

 **Anger:** One of these days I'm gonna break my foot off right up in your... ugh, fine. RWBY is solely owned by Roosterteeth and Monty Oum. The dumbass writing this owns absolutely none of these characters, and this is the only time I'll be saying it.

 _God, you can be such a baby sometimes..._

* * *

 **PROLOUGE- A LETTER FROM A DEAR, DEAD FRIEND**

* * *

 **Yang - 14, Blake - 13, Weiss - 11, Ruby - 11, Ozpin - 26**

* * *

 _ **Dear Ozpin,**_

 _ **By the time you receive this letter, it'll already be a couple of months after my death. Don't worry, that was on purpose. Consider it payback for all the times you were a prat at Beacon.**_

This was bad.

 _ **Seriously, dumping all this on you was the best last-minute prank I could come up with. Loosing my touch, I guess. Then again, what I have planned for you is far more than just a simple prank. It's also a parting gift, something to get you off your ass and start living again.**_

This was very, very bad.

 _ **So, I'll just cut right to the chase - a month or two before I left for Mistral, I was working a few hours a week at the orphanage; you know which one I'm taking about.**_

No, bad was a gross, glorious understatement: this was a disaster!

 _ **There are these four girls that caught my eye in particular. I would have adopted them myself had I been able too, but, as you can see, I'm a bit too dead for that now. See where this is going?**_

Of course he could see where this was going! It would have taken an idiot to not see where this was going, and Qrow hadn't exactly been dropping the most subtle of hints here!

 _ **This is the part where you're going 'of course I do!', right?**_

Touché.

 _ **Great, you get it. Now stop giving yourself a pat on the back and listen to me - these girls... they meant a lot to me. More than anyone else knows. Now that I'm gone, they don't have anyone who actually cares for them. I've seen how they run that place; it isn't bad, but you know better than anyone that an orphanage isn't a good substitute for parents.**_

Ozpin cradled his head, letting out an exasperated sigh. That man knew just how to tug at his heartstrings and use his own past against him.

 _ **I want you to adopt them, Ozpin. Fill up that house of yours with more than just yourself and packets of insta-coffee. I know you're probably thinking right now, 'he can't be serious!' Let me tell you now that I am. You need this, Oz, just like how you needed me all those years ago. If seeing yourself in this isn't enough, then consider this how you pay me back. I'm cashing in.**_

Cashing in... nope, disaster no longer covered it. This was something far beyond that. Far, far beyond.

 _ **Their names are Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, and Yang Xiao Long. Yang is the oldest, Ruby is the youngest. For now, that's all you should need to know - you'll figure out the rest when you talk with them and Mrs. Peach at the orphanage**_.

 _ **Don't let me down, Oz. Trust me, you need them just as much as they'll need you. Even if they have to drag you there kicking and screaming.**_

 _ **Cheers from your friend beyond the grave,**_

 _ **Qrow**_

Ozpin carefully set the letter down on the table next to him, his face contorting with a wide variety of emotions: fear, sadness, anxiety... and even, to some extent, curiosity. Quickly, he took a sip of his coffee, allowing the fiery, bitter liquid break up his muddled thoughts. This was... all of this was too much! Did Qrow really expect him to just drop everything in order to take care of a few kids he'd never met?!

...

Of course he did. This was Qrow he was talking about.

Could he do it? Could he honestly just get up, walk out the door, and go to the orphanage to adopt a bunch of kids he was ill-prepared to take care of? Perhaps... there was a point in his life, just a few years ago really, when he wouldn't have even hesitated.

Now?

Now he wasn't so sure.

Sighing, he stood up, stretching out his stiff limbs. How long had he been sitting in that chair? He supposed it hardly mattered at this point; he usually sat there for hours a day after he got back from work, listen to music from an old turntable he kept next to his barely used fireplace. In fact, the only time he really got any social interaction was when he talked with Glynda in the break room, and even that was more or less snippets of passing conversation.

Briefly, he paused. Had he really been limiting his life to the extent that the closest thing he got to conversation was small talk with the teacher a room over from his? Had it really gotten that bad in such a short amount of time?

No, not short. This had been his existence for years now; it was practically routine.

That didn't sit well with him.

After blinking once, as if to give his brain time to confirm the course of action it was about to take, he went to his room and began to throw on something a bit more appropriate.

He would make no promises, none whatsoever. The fact that Qrow had waited two months after his death was enough to grant him at least that much hesitancy. Silently, he agreed that he would only go and meet the kids. That was as far of a step as he was willing to take.

As far of a step...

Because going out to potentially adopt some random kids was totally a normal thing to be doing after years and sitting in self-loathing and bitterness. Not insane at all that after receiving a random letter from his dead friend, he, on a complete whim he might add, was doing something unequivocally out of the ordinary for him. Something eccentric.

Let's just be honest about it: something crazy.

...

This was bad.

* * *

 **{[FOLLOW/FAVORITE/REVIEW]}**

 **Prologue is up, and the first chapter is underway, so stay tuned for some new content very soon. Consider this a teaser for what's to come - lots o' family fluff times, let me tell you! And as time goes on, well... lets just say I got a whole bunch of things planned. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.**

 **This being said, I hope you all enjoyed this and are excited for more; I know I certainly am! Up next, Ozpin visits the orphanage in question and meets the little ones!**

 **Thanks for being awesome, guys,**

 **~ The Old Bastard**

 **EDIT 10/28/15 - Hey everyone! For anyone still waiting for my patient ass to stop being lazy and write another chapter for this story, allow me all to dissuade your fears: the next chapter is almost done, and will probably going up later today! Sorry again for the long wait; I'll explain it more in-depth in the next AN.**


	2. Something Crazy

**Anger:** He's back.

 _No I'm not, this is just the ghost of The Old Bastard; fear me, puny emotion! Ooooooohhhhhh!_

 **Disgust:** Does he still not get that we're part of him, and therefore understand his motivations?

 **Anger:** Probably not.

 _Aw, you guys are no fun. Joy gets it!_

 **Joy:** Oooooohhhhhh, we're spooky scary skeletons! OOOOOOHHHHH!

 **Fear:** Sta- stay away from me foul demon!

 _Alright kid, don't oversell it._

* * *

 **SOMETHING CRAZY**

* * *

"Ruby- Ruby, give it back now!"

"Weiss, stop running after her; you know that's exactly what she wants."

"But she won't give it back!"

"Come on Blakey, let the kids have some fun! I remember when I chased you around."

"That- that was not the same!"

"Oh really? How?"

"We- we didn't- you know, fight about it afterwards!"

"Pfft, is that all? I could always fight you now."

"You wouldn't dare, Yang."

"You sure about that, kitty cat?"

"RUBY, GIVE IT BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"I'LL NEVER SUCCUMB TO THE DREAD PIRATE SCHNEE! AVAST, YE SCURVY DOG, AND PREPARE FOR BATTLE!"

Ozpin watched, a strange of curiosity (mixed with a nigh-overwhelming sense of dread) settling deep in the pit of his stomach as the four girls began to fight. It was a playful display of course (though to be perfectly honest, he could already tell who was going to beat who; Yang and Ruby obviously had the upper hand over thier respective... sisters? Friends? Ozpin couldn't really tell.), but it did nothing to quell his fear over parenthood. Or relationships in general, for that matter.

Next to him, the orphanage's headmistress, a plump, grandmotherly looking woman named Peach, was watching with a kind glint in her eye as the children roughhoused.

Ozpin, clearing his throat, broke the silence that had fallen between them. "Well, they're certainly... active, to say the least."

She made a thoughtful humming sound, not taking her eye off the children. "They've been our four most difficult kids since day one, but don't let that fool you; they all have hearts of gold.

"RUBY, I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU A PIGGY-BACK RIDE!"

"THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD!"

Ozpin raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Most of the time, at least."

Ozpin sighed, theatrically cradling his head. He wasn't ready for this insanity - how could Qrow ever do this to him? This was madness! Complete and utter madness!

He supposed that made him a little mad as well.

"Do you want to talk with them for a minute?"

He snapped out of his thoughts and gave the woman an odd look, as if to say, _do I really look cut out for this shit?_

"These four were very close to Qrow. They know of his passing, of course, but speaking with someone close to him might be a good form of... closure. And to be honest, they need someone to talk to."

"And why haven't you?" Ozpin questioned. This woman seemed more than capable of that job.

"Because, I didn't really know the man all that well. And these four are know for having... trust issues."

"Trust issues?"

The old woman sighed, getting visibly uncomfortable.

"From the little we've been able to gather, they've all been in some bad foster homes; doesn't much matter now. Here, go talk to them. I'll be waiting back in my office whenever you finish."

Without another word, she turned on her heel and walked out of the small dormitory, leaving Ozpin alone with the four rambunctious girls.

He gulped, ready to break under the pressure. In fact, if not for the well timed assault of Ruby and Weiss (who was being unwillingly steered by her friend) knocking him to the ground, he probably would've bolted.

"Ooph!"

Ozpin grunted as he slammed against the wall, too confused by the situation to feel embarrassed for being taken down by two kids. His cane clattered to the floor, skidding away from him.

"Oh, no! Mister, are you alright?"

No, Ruby, he was absolutely _not_ alright. Thankfully, years of being an educator had honed his patience his tolerance for the antics of children to a near incalculable level. Sighing, he gave the child a small smile.

"Not to worry, Miss Rose, I'll be fine. Would someone mind handing me my cane-"

"RUBY," Weiss screeched, flailing her arms in exaggerated motions. "YOU DUNCE!

Red faced and seething, Weiss stomped over to her (once again, sister? Friend? This was already getting confusing for Ozpin), waggling a slender finger in her direction. "You could've killed him; you have to be more careful than that, Ruby!"

"Now Miss Schnee, I believe that is a tad over excessive-"

"I- I was?" Ruby, her big, puppy dog eyes going back and forth between Weiss and Ozpin. It seemed as though she hadn't even heard Ozpin. "I'm so-so-so-so-soooo sorry! Are you alright?! Did you break anything? I didn't mean to hurt you, I- I swear it was an accident-!"

Ruby started zipping around him at speeds far faster than what should've been possible for such a small girl, checking over every nook and cranny in order to make sure he was unharmed, repeating the same apology over and over again. Ozpin, as usual, had absolutely no idea how to react; even as a teacher, this was way out of his league.

Though he had to admit, the girls concern was quite sweet.

"Ruby, he's fine," said a monotone Blake, putting a hand on the younger girls shoulder and gently pulling her back. Ruby was quick to voice her protest by promptly giving her (fuck, this was going to be an issue, wasn't it?) what was perhaps the guiltiest expression known to man. Ozpin didn't know how Blake could withstand such a thing.

"Don't fret, Miss Rose, I'm perfectly healthy," he said, trying to console the youngest of the four in his own awkward way. She gave him a small, apologetic smile. It was, perhaps, the most heart melting thing he'd ever seen.

Seriously, that look could _kill._ How she hadn't been adopted yet was beyond him.

"Now, would someone mind grabbing my cane for me?"

"No worries, guy; I got it right here."

Yang, who had long since joined the rest of them, held his cane out in her outstretched hand.

Now, Ozpin was very good at reading people: body language, eye movement, tone; he had the process down it a science. Miss Xiao Long was certainly no exception; her smile and body language seemed cool and relaxed, but the way her eyes shifted, the way she seemed to be forcing herself to keep her voice casual... it didn't take long for Ozpin to see some of the signs of mistrust Peach spoke of.

He didn't voice the observations, of course. Rather, he just smiled pleasantly and took the cane. On shaky legs, he managed to pull himself up to his full height.

Yang wasn't the only one projecting their mistrust; by the way they all (sans Ruby) skidded back a little, it was clear that they were wary of of presence. In a way, Ozpin actually felt more comfortable in this situation; it was something he dealt with on a regular basis at his work, ringing with a sense of morbid familiarity.

"Thank you, Yang, I appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it, man. So, don't think I've seen you around the orphanage before; you a new volunteer or something?"

Ozpin chuckled lightly, not missing the suspicion underlying her friendly tone. "No, nothing like that; I knew Qrow. He wanted me to visit you all."

...

All the air in the room felt as if it had been sucked out, replaced by a deadening silence. It wasn't hard to see the obvious pain in each of thier expressions - even Ruby looked crestfallen at the mention of their deceased friend. Ozpin had to suppress a wince.

"Sorry, I understand if it's a difficult subject to discuss. I'll leave if you want-"

"No!"

It had been Ruby who spoke up, looking up at Ozpin with those large, innocent silver eyes. Even Yang seemed to relax her shoulders a bit, simply at the knowledge that he'd known Qrow. It made him wonder what exactly his old friend had done for these girls...

It certainly must've been something extraordinary.

"Please, don't leave yet... how did you know Uncle Qrow?"

Extraordinary indeed. Ozpin couldn't help but let his smile widen; his friend certainly had the ability to be the biggest asshole in Vale, but that was only complimented by his inexplicable way of worming himself into the lives and hearts of everyone he met.

Ozpin would never forget the way he met that eccentric bastard.

He hummed, loosing himself in memory. "Let's see... I met Qrow years ago, back when we both were attending Beacon Academy..."

* * *

 **{[FOLLOW/FAVORITE/REVIEW]}**

 **Great job, Bastard. You don't update this story for like four months, and then decide the best way to end the next chapter is by being an asshole. You deserve first place in the 'Worst Person Ever' contest.**

 **But seriously, you all didn't think it'd be that easy, did you? Qrow is a bit more integral than that; it would be a waste for me to just reveal his relationship to Ozpin and the girls right away! I gotta tease~ you with it first.**

 **...**

 **Alright, I'll stop stalling. I've haven't updated, as I promised I would in my last chapter. Why?**

 **Because I'm a lazy asshole.**

 **I'm not gonna try and justify it by saying I was busy, or had issues to go through... nope, just pure, undiluted laziness. It was a dick move, and I'm sorry for it, especially considering that chapter is probably pretty lackluster and most likely filled with errors.**

 **But none of that matters; you all waited for my patient ass, as continued to support this story despite the fact it was only one chapter. That, to me, means more than you can possible know. I promise that I'll try to update this as frequently as possible form now on, because you guys deserve it.**

 **Thanks again, everyone, for not giving up,**

 **~ The Old Bastard**


End file.
